Here are our top 5 camping survival tips of the month:
1 - In the event of a mountain lion encounter, pre-select which one of your companions you’re most likely to sacrifice first (we suggest the one who complains the most is the best candidate for this important role).
2 - Just like Vegas, what happens in the tent stays in the tent.
3 - Whatever you do, don't forget the essentials: a corkscrew, reliable cooler, roll of toilet paper (duh!) and obviously, loads of biltong.
4 - Baby moccasins are the worst because they can’t control the amount of venom when they bite, whereas their parents are far more considerate.
5 - John Denver was, and will always be, the master of mountain music.
We trust this guidance was revolutionary and incredibly insightful. God speed and may you come back from Mother Nature in one piece.
The Biltong Baron